We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The uberlube is also flammable
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
