There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
