eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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