that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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