I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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