Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
