our cab driver is having phone sex.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
vagina is talking i cant
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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