hell yes lets make some ravioli
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
