Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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