No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
