I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize