Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
