Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want to make out with him forever
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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