You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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