Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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