We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
