He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
