people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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