Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
