Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
