Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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