he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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