i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
