Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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