Rock
Scissors
Fuck
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
