He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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