How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just had sex bonerless
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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