If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
