I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
