Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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