we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
