Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
