i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize