If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
foreskin is a definite game changer
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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