we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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