he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize