every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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