Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize