somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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