i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
