I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
