The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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