I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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