Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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