I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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