I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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