Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize