Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
