On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize