I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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