The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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