He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
