honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize