he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
