I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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