none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
