Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
