I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
