Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
