we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
