its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize