It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
