Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
